All Is Fair In Love and Fanfiction
by DevynQ
Summary: When Cath walks into Levi's kitchen and catches him mouth-to-mouth with someone else, their relationship threatens to break apart. Will Cath manage to forgive Levi for his accidental transgression, or will she instead harden her heart and bury herself in Simon Snow fanfiction to forget all about him? CatherxLevi. Rated T for occasional cursing. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter One: Tongue Hockey

**Hello, friends! This is my second venture into the Fangirl fandom (the first being a cutesy one-shot). Let me know what you think, okay? Enjoy!**

* * *

"Shit, shit, double shit."

_Why is Reagan cursing already? We've been here for no more than five minutes_. Cath's brow furrows, and she tries to peek around her roommate, who immediately blocks her from entering the kitchen like a professional hockey player would. She also kind of body-checks her back into the living room, which Cath really does not appreciate.

"What are you doing?" she asks indignantly.

"_We_ are leaving, Cather. Right now." Reagan tries to get a firm grip on her elbow, but Cath is really curious now and manages to evade her grasping hands and squeeze through the narrow kitchen doorway. Her tongue instantly curls up into a dry stick and her eyes blur crazily for a moment before they can really focus on what's happening by the sink.

Levi's standing with his back against the counter-top – well, he's leaning, really, because how else does he stand? – and his blonde hair is a wild mess. His one arm is wrapped around the back of some twiggy blonde chick with grapefruit-sized breasts and puffy red lips and tight, low-ride jeans. A half-empty beer bottle dangles from his loose grip. Levi is smiling as the girl mauls his mouth with her own, and Cath can definitely see (through a very dim and Tilt-A-Whirl-ish tunnel) some signs of tongue. Before she can examine the two any further, Reagan yanks her back and shoves herself in front of Levi so that Cath can't see him.

Cath's first thought: He's going to drop that beer bottle and the whole thing will splinter into a million pieces and it'll be _so difficult_ to clean up because the floor is atrociously dirty and someone may accidentally step on those pieces and possibly need their foot to be amputated from the rest of their leg because who _knows_ where that glass has been or who's stepped on this dirty floor.

Cath's second thought: He's smiling. Levi is _smiling_ while open-mouthed kissing this girl. His eyes are closed like he's in complete and utter bliss. Like he doesn't have a care in the world. No, in the _universe_.

Faintly, she hears Levi take in a breath and say, "Reagan? What took you so long?"

Cath staggers backwards, feeling the earth revolve beneath her. She just barely makes it out the front door and off the porch before she calmly says, "I'm going to vomit," and precedes to do just that. And very messily, too.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, Cath stands up and pinches the bridge of her nose, expecting the tears to make an unwelcome appearance now that the shock is wearing off. However, the tears don't come. Actually, Cath doesn't feel upset at all, or angry or hurt or betrayed or anything, really. She doesn't feel anything.

Reagan appears by her side and silently hands her a crumpled paper towel, which Cath numbly takes and dabs at the corners of her crusty mouth. Her roommate turns and heads toward her car without a word, and Cath follows blindly behind.

The last thing Cath remembers is falling stiffly into the passenger seat and buckling her seat belt with clumsy fingers, and then all of a sudden she's back in her dorm room, staring at the ceiling from the comfort of her creaky bed. Reagan's somehow in the shower.

Twenty minutes later the door to the bathroom creaks open and Reagan's toweled head appears, her eyes squinting down at Cath. She hasn't moved since she realized where she was, and although the fact that she doesn't remember actually _getting_ here disturbs her greatly, Cath remains sprawled on top of the comforter, still fully clothed.

Reagan stares at her for approximately six seconds. "Can you hand me that de-frizzer bottle?"

Cath blinks, glances at Reagan, then at the end table situated between their beds, and back at Reagan. Understanding that she won't stop asking until Cath complies, she reaches over and grabs the bottle, tossing it in her roommate's general direction.

"Wow, thanks," Reagan says drily as the bottle hits her on the arm and falls to the floor with a loud smack.

Cath shrugs, still struggling to come to terms with what happened.

"Listen," Reagan says a few minutes later, sitting on her bed in a black tank top and yoga pants, brushing out her wet hair. _When did that happen? Did I fall asleep_? Cath wonders vaguely.

"Back at Levi's house…I really didn't even consider that something like that would go down. I mean, that's what I get for trying to move you out of the room for the first night since you arrived. No good deed goes unrewarded? _Please_," she scoffs, rolling her eyes to the ceiling and directly back to Cath's prone figure. "I'm never, _ever_ doing that again. You can rot in this room if you want, you and your protein bars."

After a moment, Reagan's face twists. "That didn't come out right, but I think you catch my drift. I'm not going to encourage you to go anywhere. Okay?"

Cath swallows dryly. "Just forget about it, Reagan, really."

"Forget…?"

She sits up, with obvious reluctance, and faces the bed opposite hers. "I mean it. Forget this ever happened. You and Levi can just resume your lives and pretend you didn't see anything, okay? I know you're like, best friends and everything, so I'm not going to let this interfere with that, but do you think…" Here, Cath chokes. "Um, do you think you can keep Levi away from the room for a while? That would, um, that would be great –"

"Okay, okay, stop," Reagan interrupts, holding up her hands, palms-out. "All this stuttering and stumbling is embarrassing. I was already going to make sure he doesn't come within a hundred yards of our room, especially if you're in it. If you don't want to see him, that's A-OK with me. But to pretend it didn't even happen…Are you sure?"

Cath sighs and slowly starts to take off her snow boots. "I'm positive. He saw you, so just maybe make up an excuse about why you suddenly had to take off. He never has to know that I was there at all."

Reagan watches her slow movements, then turns away. "If that's what you want," she repeats.

That's what she wants.

* * *

**This scene in the actual book seriously tore at my heart. I felt so terrible for Cath, and I honestly wanted to hit Levi over the head with something heavy, like, say, maybe a car. Anyway, this fic will most likely be five chapters at most. I always appreciate feedback!**


	2. Chapter Two: The Queen of Freaking Out

_Even if there's an earthquake, I am not leaving this bed_.

Because that's sure as hell what it feels like. Cath's entire bed is rocking back and forth, which means that she is too. The motion isn't all that unpleasant, actually. In a way, it's a bit soothing. _This is either an earthquake, or someone's shaking my shoulder with unnecessary roughness, _she thinks tiredly. Cath hopes for the former but knows in her heart that it's the latter.

Sure enough…

"_Cather Avery_, wake the _hell_ up, will you?"

She groans and buries her head beneath her too-flat pillow.

"Fine, whatever, stay in bed. It's not my problem if you miss all your morning classes."

Cath can visualize her agitated roommate throwing her hands up in the air, her forehead creased with a combination of annoyance and concern…but mostly annoyance. If only she was more –

Cath's eyes snap open and she emerges from her bed cave. "Wait, what? Morning classes? What time is it?"

She can't be sure, but she thinks Reagan glances at their wall clock with a poorly hidden grin on her face. The girl exudes the haughtiest attitude she's ever been unfortunate enough to encounter. "Oh, I don't know, it's just past ten o'clock, maybe?"

Cath's adrenaline shoots straight to her heart, and in seconds she's bursting out from under the covers and racing into the bathroom. "_Ten o'clock_?" she screeches. "It's really _ten o'clock_? I missed my first class! Oh my god, _ten o'clock_!" Cath swivels the facet above the sink to the left so quickly that it's a bit of surprise the whole thing doesn't spin right off.

"If you say 'ten o'clock' one more time, I'm going to beat you with something heavy and preferably sharp," Reagan mutters as she finishes applying her dark makeup.

Cath can't respond to this particular comment; she's brushing her teeth so viciously that spots of blood begin popping up along her gum line. She's out of the bathroom within three minutes, deciding to skip the shower for now.

Reagan raises an eyebrow. "What's the rush, speedster? You're already late. There's no need to freak out."

"Don't you know?" Cath huffs as she jams her legs into a pair of unwashed jeans. "I'm the queen of freaking out."

* * *

Cath arrives four minutes before the start of her Fiction Writing class, and for the first time all semester she can't concentrate on her professor. The events of last night have finally caught up with her, and now all she can think about is Levi and that blonde girl, Levi and his messy hair and that doomed beer bottle and the kisses and especially his smile, his blissful, all-is-well-with-the-world smile. That's the thing that's really dug into her heart. This betrayal (but is it actually a betrayal if they aren't even going on? does one sleepy kiss count as the basis for a relationship?) will be embedded within her for quite a long time.

The rest of the day rushes by with unusual swiftness, and before she knows it, the tiny hands on her wrist watch are pointing to four o'clock. Cath instinctively starts to head back to the dorm, but then she halts mid-step, blinking. What if Levi's there? Levi and Reagan, sure, but still, _Levi_. Reagan did say that she would keep him away from her for a while, but that only applies when Cath is actually in the room. So they might by sprawled across Reagan's bed right this minute, pouring over information written on flashcards, and Cath will walk in totally unaware and be forced into some sort of horrible confrontation.

Cath slowly starts to shake her head. _Nope_, she thinks determinedly. _Nope, that's not happening. I won't be able to deal with that if we come face-to-face so soon. I'll just have to stay out of the room until I'm sure it's empty._

The question is…how long will that take, and where will she go in the meantime?

She walks around campus for the next half hour, idly examining the buildings and dead flower gardens. The tips of her fingers are beginning to freeze over; she forgot to bring gloves. After all, Cath didn't think she'd be roaming around campus in the middle of November because she wants to avoid returning to her room and encountering the boy she _thought_ she knew. Sighing, she turns around and backtracks, deciding to spend some time in Love Library. Hopefully Nick won't be there. Not that she doesn't like the kid and the time they spend writing together, but Cath wants to focus on _Carry On_ without interruption. The library is usually the second best place to write, excluding her dorm room.

In an isolated corner of the library, her fingers fly over the keyboard, the _click_ _click_ _click_ing of the keys the only detectable noise. Cath's eyes are riveted on the page, her eyes racing over the words. Time passes so quickly when she gets "in the zone;" before she knows it, the clock's pointing to half past eight.

_They have to be gone by now_, Cath thinks optimistically. And so, packing up her belongings, she exits the library, stomach rumbling with hunger, and strides toward her room. She mindlessly checks her phone for messages and is somewhat surprised to see the blinking mail icon.

_All clear_.

The text came from Reagan twenty minutes ago. Cath smiles as she hurriedly climbs the stairs.

And then the smile drops right off her face as she slams into Levi at the top.

"Oh!" she gasps, more out of shock than breathlessness. _What is he still doing here_?

"Whoa, steady there, Cather," Levi says with a grin, gripping her upper arms to prevent her from falling backward. "What's the rush?"

Cath's mind races. "Oh, I, um, I'm just –" _Just_, she thinks, annoyed with herself.

Levi's smile drops ever-so-slightly. "Everything all right? I haven't seen much of you lately."

_That should clue you in_, she thinks sourly, staring at him through narrowed eyes. She has no idea where all this anger is coming from, but it feels good. It's better than the overwhelming numbness she's experienced since walking in on him and his tongue-happy friend.

"I'm fine, Levi," she says forcefully, shrugging off both his concern and his restraining hands. "I haven't eaten yet."

His eyes immediately light up. "Want to go out and grab something? I'm sure that burger place I've been hearing so much about is packed, but I can finagle us a table somewhere. Or that salad place on the corner by my house, unless you're more in a seafood-type mood, in which case The Sushi Palace would be much more pleasing to your taste buds –"

"I get it, Levi," Cath interrupts tiredly. "But I'm not really up for going out tonight. My biology class is killing me, and I'm behind on my lab report." _Why do I always feel the need to elaborate around him?_

"That's no issue, just tell me what you're in the mood for and I'll go get it for you. That's what I'm here for, isn't it?" He winks suggestively.

But Cath really isn't in the mood, for obvious reasons (well, obvious to her, at least).

"No, thanks," she replies in a near monotone. She would usually put more effort into keeping up the "everything's-fine-our-relationship-hasn't-been-ruined-by-your-nighttime-escapades" charade, but Cath is growing more angry by the minute, and Levi's endless stream of words and suggestions and overall optimism isn't helping.

Levi leans against the railing next to the (still) empty stairwell. "I don't want you to starve, Cather."

"You know, I can feed myself. I'm not helpless." Cath's eyes rove restlessly in the direction of her dorm room.

Levi stares at her. "Is…everything all right? You seem a bit on edge, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me."

Leave it to Levi to be so blunt. "I'm not avoiding you, okay? You aren't even on my radar right now." Realizing how harsh that sounds (but not caring as much as she normally would), Cath mutters, "I have a lot on my plate."

Levi's face seems to fall. "Oh. If…okay." He stands up straight (or as straight as he ever is) and slowly starts down the stairs. When he gets to the landing midway between the first and second floor, he turns back around and says, "I just want to make sure you're okay, Cather," in an uncharacteristically unhappy voice.

Cath's anger ebbs almost completely away, and her heart loses some of its hardness. But then the image of him happily slobbering over that girl in the middle of his kitchen flashes vividly through her mind, and her resolve hardens again. "Oh, I'm perfectly fine, Levi. You have nothing to worry about."

She turns on her heel and all but stomps back to her room, fuming.


	3. Chapter Three: Burritos and Blizzards

**Hope you're enjoying my little story! And as I've said before, feedback is always appreciated. **

* * *

The next three weeks pass by in a blur of non-activity. Cath still attends all her classes (on time), and she continues to write five thousand plus words per chapter for _Carry On_, but otherwise her life is fairly uneventful.

Wren has apparently been super busy with Courtney and all her other new and exciting friends, so Cath hasn't seen much of her. They've texted…what, maybe three or four times since their last little blow-up? It makes her sad, and yet, she feels that Wren is primarily the one responsible for the growing distance between them. Her excessive drinking and superficial friends are more important than her twin sister and their love of all things Simon Snow.

Reagan's been busy with her own life, including the nightly study dates with Levi. Cath hasn't seen them together in quite a while, and she hasn't spoken to Levi since their encounter on the stairs. Her anger is still present, although it's simmered down a bit, but the feelings of hurt and betrayal linger, slicing deep into her heart whenever she even considers forgiving Levi. The worst part, she knows, is that Levi isn't even aware of how she's feeling. He still thinks they're pretty much buddies (well, maybe not after the discussion on the stairs). The thing that hurts the most is that he acts like everything is normal, like he didn't accidentally-on-purpose _cheat_ on her by making out with that girl.

_We shared _one_ kiss_, Cath thinks, angry with herself. She has this conversation at least once a day. _It isn't considered cheating when there's only been one kiss_. And yet it still feels that way.

In the middle of typing a lengthy, explanatory message to her beta, the door swings open, denting the already cracked wall where the same door has been flung open dozens and dozens of times against the same wall. Reagan tromps through, her gloves wet with snow.

"Is it really storming that bad?"

Reagan swivels her head slowly, and Cath sees that something bad is brewing. Her roommate's eye is twitching.

"What did you say?" she growls, tossing her boots in the closet.

"Um…what do you mean?" Cath squeaks, already afraid. Reagan can be terrifying when she wants to be.

"I _mean_, what…did…you…say? _TO LEVI_!"

Cath winces; she hates shouting matches. "I said…I mean…um."

"All he talks about is what you're doing and where you are and why you're avoiding him and what's wrong and can he do anything to help and blah blah _blah_. It's infuriating!" she rants, pacing the tiny bit of open floorspace. "This has been going on for _weeks_ now! I tried to ignore it because he's, you know, _Levi_, but I can't! I can't listen to his little pity party anymore."

Cath blinks rapidly, unsure if this pause is an opening for her to talk.

Reagan stops pacing and practically leaps towards her bed. Leaning down, she says, "Cather! What did you do to the poor boy?"

Cath leans back a little, trying not to seem too obvious. "Um, well, I think I was kinda…stand-offish with him. Maybe."

Reagan rolls her eyes for so long that it looks like it hurts. "Do you _think_? He wonders what he's done wrong, and no way in hell I'm going to get into _that_ conversation."

Cath swallows. "I just told him…" She trails off and starts over. "I _told_ him nothing. I didn't want to go out to eat and I had a lot of biology homework to cover. I said that, and apparently he thought I was avoiding him."

"Well…aren't you?" Reagan asks, drawing out the words as if she's talking to a child.

"Yeah, of course, but he can't know that."

"Why the hell _not_? If you would just let him know that you saw him making out with that blonde bitch, this whole thing could be over a lot quicker. You'll blow up, he'll look startled, then ashamed, then apologetic, and you'll eventually get over it because he'll be _so obnoxiously nice _to you, and then ta-da! Everything's normal again."

Cath's already shaking her head. "It's not that simple, Reagan. I can't just…_say_ all that stuff. The fact that he doesn't know what he did was wrong, and hasn't told me about it –"

"_But you guys weren't dating_!" she practically screeches. She takes a deep breath. "I admit, it was a pretty shitty thing to do, but honestly, you guys aren't even in a relationship."

Cath's face is pale. "Well, if he truly liked me, he wouldn't have done something like that. And he definitely would be feeling guilty. But I sense that's not the case. He's just hiding it from me and thinks I'll never find out and we can just resume our little…whatever-we-have…and everything will be peachy-fucking-keen!"

Reagan looks a little shocked, and Cath puts a hand over her mouth. She rarely curses, especially not at such a loud volume. Or in front of people who aren't her sister.

"Look," Cath whispers, feeling drained. "Like I said before, just let it go. Pretend it never happened. You guys can do whatever, and I'll do my own thing."

"But you realize this means that you and Levi will probably never be friends again, let alone anything more, right?" Reagan has her arms crossed, but she seems more subdued…and maybe more understanding, but that may only be Cath's imagination.

She manages a half-hearted shrug. "I realize that. But I'm not very…skilled at those kinds of conversations. You know, like, confrontations. I would just be embarrassed and awkward and…no, it's best to leave things alone."

Reagan sighs. "If that's really how you want to go about this."

"It is."

Shaking her head, her roommate enters the bathroom and very softly shuts the door. Cath leans back against her pile of pillows, closing her eyes against a pounding headache. Avoiding Levi, and avoiding _talking_ about Levi with Reagan, is proving to be extraordinarily difficult. Cath didn't think it would be like this. First of all, she thought she'd be able to handle Levi when they came face-to-face. But she blew that. Now he knows something's up, and Reagan doesn't seem able to throw him off the trail.

_Great_, Cath thinks grumpily. _More drama. Just what I need right now_.

* * *

"I think it would be really nice if I came down though. Just for a short visit. The weekend, maybe?"

"I don't know, sweetheart, it's been a busy couple of weeks," her dad says distractedly. "With this whole Gravioli campaign, I'm not sure I'll have time…"

_To keep me entertained_, Cath finishes silently. "I'm eighteen years old, Dad. You aren't responsible for giving me fun things to do."

"But I _am_ responsible for you, Cather. If I'm not there, what's the point of you visiting? It just seems like a waste of a visit."

"As if we're in short supply?" Cath rolls her eyes, wishing she could be at home so her father realizes how frustrating he's being. "Dad, c'mon. I haven't hung out with you in forever."

"You don't want to _hang out_ with your old man. Trust me."

"Yes, I do!" _Only because I'm worried about you._ "And you must, too, otherwise you wouldn't have picked up when I called. I'm surprised you did, really."

"I didn't think about it," he mutters. Cath can hear papers being shuffled in the background.

"So are you saying no? Is this a definite refusal to spend some time in my oh-so-wonderful company?" Cath tries not to sound disappointed.

"I wouldn't put it quite like that, but…I'm afraid so, Cath. After the holidays things will slow down."

"_After_ the holidays?" she asks worriedly. "But me and Wren are coming down for Christmas, remember? That's like, a given."

"Of course, of course," he replies, but Cath can tell he hasn't really taken in what she's telling him: _You're not going to be rid of us that easily, Dad, especially if you're not well_.

She sighs. "You sound busy, so I'm going to let you go now."

He hums his agreement.

"Bye, Dad."

"Bye, Cather, love you."

He hangs up before she can speak.

"Love you too," she whispers to the empty room.

Tucking the phone into her back pocket, Cath stretches out her arms. Her eyes are bleary and her fingers ache, and it's only three o'clock. On a Friday afternoon, too. How pathetic.

Her phone vibrates and Cath whips it out, checking the incoming text.

_I hate burritos. Did I ever tell you just _how much_ I hate burritos and anything ending in "itos"? _Attached is a picture of Reagan wearing a salsa-stained tee-shirt. Unfortunately, the shirt's white, made see-through by the sauce.

_Oh, no_! she texts back with a smile. _That's going to leave a mark_ _for sure_.

_Tell me about it._ Cath can almost physically see Reagan sighing dramatically. _I'm going to be stuck wearing this for the rest of the day._

_Are you really that busy? _

_Of course, Cath, shouldn't you know by now? I'm the socialite queen. But really, I'm stuck working on a group project until four, then I have a two hour lecture._

_Sucks_, Cath types, then quickly erases it. _You know what, I can bring you a clean shirt. I have nothing else going on (well, duh). Where are you?_

_Morton Hall._

_And where's that?_

_Hold on. _

It takes a moment for Cath to pull herself together – faded jeans, muddy brown tee-shirt, furry black coat with matching scarf and boots – and finding a clean tee-shirt of Reagan's takes way longer than necessary, but fifteen minutes later she's out the door and striding across campus, keeping her face tucked tightly inside her coat. The wind is bitter cold today, and the forecast says snow drifts up to a foot by the end of the day. Wonderful.

Cath makes it to Morton Hall just in time; the light snow that was falling less than ten minutes ago has abruptly shifted into a full-on blizzard. She tries not to think about how she's going to get back to the dorm.

Reagan waves her down from a table surrounded by three other people. "What a relief," she says with a grateful sigh. "Now I won't have to worry about people sniffing me all day, wondering what that spicy smell is."

"I'm a life-saver, what can I say?"

"Now, I wouldn't go _that_ far…" Reagan's smile stills for a moment.

"What?"

"Ah, nothing. I'm going to go change. Do you mind sticking around for a few minutes?"

"Well," Cath says, glancing out the giant plate-glass windows. "Sure. Looks like I'm kinda stuck here anyway."

"Which is really going to suck for you in a minute," she mutters as she walks toward the restroom.

Cath's eyebrows furrow. Taking a seat next to the table where Reagan's group is gradually piecing together a plan for their project, Cath drums her fingers on the tabletop. She should've brought her laptop; at least she would have something to keep her mind occupied.

"Mind if I sit here?"

Cath's head shoots up. Levi smiles down at her. His smile is there as always, but it appears less…exuberant than normal. She can guess why.

"Um, sure." Cath leans back in her chair, holding herself stiffly upright. _Is this what Reagan meant when she said, "This is going to suck for you in a minute?" Fantastic. The little twit knew he was here._

"So."

"What's up?" she asks without looking at him.

"I want to know what's going on."

Cath glances around, unsurprised by Levi's bluntness. Aside from Reagan's group, there's only a handful of kids sitting in the giant dining hall. Still, she doesn't necessarily want an audience for the conversation that she sees is now inevitable.

Cath attempts to maintain her innocent façade. "Going on?"

Levi's hands grip the edge of the table. "Cather, please. I must've done something to piss you off. If you tell me, we can work this out."

"I don't think this is a good time."

"Well, when?"

"I don't know, just not now."

"I'm sorry, Cather, but this is the only time we have, and I'm not going to waste it before you can get away again." He leans close to her, moving his chair inches from her own. "What did I do to make you so mad at me?"

His eyes are so earnest, his face so troubled, that Cath has to steady her voice before speaking. "You didn't do anything, Levi, okay? Leave it alone."

"How can I leave it alone, Cather? You refuse to talk to me, and I'm not okay with that."

Cath rubs her forehead, feeling yet another headache coming on. "I'm not in the mood to talk about this, especially here. How did you even know I was in this building?"

He looks sheepish. "Reagan. She told me."

She nods sharply, restraining her anger. "Of course. So this was like a set-up. You were waiting around to bombard me with something I'm completely over and done with."

"What _something_?" Levi asks loudly. "You won't tell me what this something _is_!"

"Levi," she whispers harshly, glancing around, "lower your voice."

"Not until you tell me why you suddenly want nothing to do with me." Levi sits back, arms crossed (oddly reminiscent of Reagan when they held a similar argument two days ago) and stares at her. Uncomfortable, Cath waits anxiously for her roommate to return. But then she realizes; _Reagan's_ the one who did this. She _knew_ how Cath felt about this whole thing, and yet she still set her up.

She rises angrily out of her chair. "We're done talking about this. I'm going back to the dorm."

Banging out the front door, Cath squints around, trying to see. Visibility appears to be at an all-time low; it's difficult to see anything even five feet away. But Cath made her grand exit; she can't slink back inside now. Marching through the rising snow, Cath faintly hears a pair of footsteps following in her wake.

"Wait, Cather!" Levi calls, trudging through the snow. He raises a hand to shield his face from the occasional icy blasts. "You can't wander around in this."

"Of course I can. I told you, I'm leaving," she half-yells, straining to be heard over the wind.

Levi snags her arm in a tight grip. "Please, just wait. My car's in the next lot over. I'll take you back to your dorm, okay?"

But she merely presses her lips together and tries to continue walking.

"Cather," Levi huffs, exasperated, "it's a fifteen minute walk from here. You'll freeze to death."

Cath's just about had it now. She wants what she wants, and that's to get as far away from Levi as possible. She can't believe Reagan would do something like this, something so sneaky. To have Levi popping up unexpectedly when Cath assumed she was just doing something nice for her roommate… That sucks. She feels sick to her stomach, and avoiding the topic she doesn't want to discuss with Levi is getting harder and harder.

"What, and _you'll_ keep me warm?" she asks angrily, whirling on him. Levi takes a step back, shocked by the bitterness in her voice.

"What…I…of course, Cather. I wouldn't let anything happen to you, not out here, not anywhere," he says, his voice barely distinguishable above the howling wind.

"Well, you sure didn't care when you were shoving your tongue down that blonde bimbo's throat, now, did you?" Cath yells, tears pricking the backs of her eyes.

Levi looks momentarily confused. "Blonde bimbo?"

Cath swallows. "I went to your party, Levi. The one you had three weeks ago?"

"You did? Why didn't I see you?" he asks, pulling her closer so he can read her face.

"Well, you seemed a little preoccupied. Enter the blonde bimbo."

Cath waits for it to sink in, and although it takes a moment too long, Levi's face drains of all color, and he blinks like he's got a piece of lint in his eye.

"Yeah," Cath says, her voice cracking. She's so unbelievably relieved that the wind is howling too hard and too fast for him to hear it. "_That_ blonde bimbo. You seemed to be enjoying yourself, so I showed myself out."

"Oh, Cather," Levi says hoarsely, his eyes scanning her face. Everything appears to be clicking into place for him. _A day late and a dollar short_, Cath thinks morosely.

She rips her arm out of his grip. "Good-_bye_, Levi."

"Cather, no, please," he says in a strangled voice. "It was just…just a kiss, it didn't mean anything…" He trails off, breathless. Cath knows he's really trying to make her understand, but she's not having it. Any of this.

"Are you going to walk home?" he shouts as she burrows deeper into the storm.

"Looks like it," she calls back without turning around.

"Don't be stupid, Cather!"

"It's too late for that," she says, not sure and not really caring if Levi hears.

In seconds she's totally enveloped within the storm, surrounded by a complete and suffocating whiteness. The tears dribbling down her face freeze before they hit the ground.

* * *

**Tell me what you think and leave a comment, review, or whatever else you'd like!**


	4. Chapter Four: The Art of Avoidance

**Thanks to everyone who's reviewed and for all the kind words! I hope you enjoy this next installment. **

* * *

Cath cries herself to sleep that night.

This reckless outpouring of emotion makes her feel so totally pathetic, but she's unable to stop. The salty flood won't cease, not until four in the morning when Reagan finally returns. She doesn't say a word, just flops into bed fully-clothed, and within minutes her breathing deepens. Still, Cath forces her loud sobs and her river of tears into occasional sniffles.

The next morning she's awake before Reagan. Saturday's are usually filled with more writing and working on homework in the dorm, but Cath doesn't want to be anywhere near Reagan, at least for a while. Maybe she'll calm down in a few days, but if Reagan were to wake up right this second, Cath isn't sure she'd be in control of her actions.

Dressing in black sweatpants and a dark gray sweatshirt, Cath dumps her textbooks and laptop in her backpack and heads to Love Library, where she's planning to stay all day, and maybe even overnight too. Once there, she writes three full chapters (about four thousand words each) and finishes her Fiction Writing assignment, writing from the view of a schizophrenic person – she picks farmer, and though she'd like to deny the connection to Levi, she can't really.

At one point, Cath looks up and is startled to see herself staring back. She's so muddled within the world of Simon Snow that she hadn't even heard Wren approach her corner table.

"You look a mess," her twin says, eyeing Cath.

She shrugs. "I guess I am a mess."

Wren's mouth looks pinched. "Have you heard from Dad?"

Cath nods, sticking the eraser tip of a chewed-on pencil in her mouth. "Yep."

"He told you he doesn't want us to visit until Christmas?"

"Pretty much."

Wren tilts her head. "And you're not worried about that?"

_Of course I'm worried! He's our father, alone and half-insane and totally unreliable when it comes to taking care of himself_. Aloud, Cath says mildly, "We'll see him in less than a month. I'm sure he can handle himself until then."

The expression on her sister's face flickers from anger to annoyance and back again. "If you say so."

That's basically the only form of communication Cath experiences for the next week.

Finals are closing in and the enter student body at UNL is in panic-mode. Everywhere Cath goes (and that's only from her classes to Love Library and her dorm room) she sees people racing around, papers flying around in their wake. Bleary-eyed freshman stare at homemade study guides and flashcards, their faces blank. Sophomores lean close to their papers in the dining halls, their eyes racing over terms and small details they can't afford to miss. Common areas are filled with pale, sleep-deprived juniors who are surrounded on all sides by textbooks. Seniors aren't really wandering the campus like the undergrads; they're locked away in their dorm rooms, twitching and desperately attempting to fill their minds with as much information as humanly possible before they expire out of a combination of exhaustion and lack of Vitamin D.

Cath herself feels pretty confident about her upcoming finals. All her exams are relatively self-explanatory; terms, essays, short answer questions. The only one she's truly worried about is Fiction Writing; that damn ten-thousand word short story isn't coming together like she hoped it would. She honestly has not a single idea. Every time she's faced with a blank document page or a sheet of crumpled paper, Cath panics and shoves them away. In fact, one time, instead of typing up only _two pages_ worth of story like she promised herself she would, she clicked open _Carry On, Simon_ and proceeded to frantically write six thousand words, all in one sitting.

Halfway through the week, Cath starts randomly dreaming about Levi. Lord knows she doesn't want to, but her unconscious self apparently has other ideas. She dreams about his blonde mop of hair getting tangled in an ocean breeze, his long body leaning casually back in a low-seated beach chair. Cath has never seen him without a shirt on, but she imagines him to be skinny and thin-boned, but still wonderfully tanned…and smiling, of course. Cath plops down next to him in the sand, watching him nap and soak up the blazing rays shining down on the beach.

"I miss you."

She could've sworn these words come out of her own mouth, but when she glances down at Levi, he's sitting upright, his eyes squinting at her sorrowfully.

"Me, too," Cath says. "I miss you too."

He takes her hand, gritty sand caught between their palms. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I miss you so much, Cather, you have no idea."

Cath's throat closes up. "Why can't you say that to me in the real world? Why can't you make everything right and admit that what you did was awful?"

He shakes his head, baffled. "I'm not sure. I shouldn't have done it."

"You're right. If you truly felt anything for me, you would never have touched that girl in the first place."

Levi's eyes fill with tears, and Cath has to look away.

All throughout the week Cath experiences variations of this same dream, with the same conversation and the same sunny atmosphere. She wakes up each morning feeling depressed and more exhausted than when she fell asleep.

Then, one week before finals, the moment finally arrives.

Cath, wearing loose jeans and a long-sleeved light blue shirt, finishes up a long-winded example essay question for her biology class. She hates these things; she spends all this time finding the answer and drawing it out into three or four paragraphs when most of the time the actual essay on the final isn't anything like the practice one. Still, Cath diligently (and methodically) answers every single question on every single study guide. She hurriedly finishes up once she sees it's a quarter past nine and practically sprints out of the library. Cath doesn't stop her mad sprinting until she reaches her dorm building; the air is so cold it could probably slice through wood.

Outside her room, however, Cath stops dead. The door's open.

For a moment, she considers turning around and running to campus security. _But what if I'm making a big deal out of nothing?_ Then Cath would forever have to suffer the embarrassment of being too afraid to enter her own dorm room. Swallowing her fear, she hesitantly pushes the door open wide, her mind racing and her body readying itself to face an intruder.

Instead, she finds Levi.

* * *

**The moment is nearly upon us! There's only two chapters left; after all, I don't want to drag this part of the book out _too_ long. Remember, reviews are encouraged! Thanks for reading :)**


	5. Chapter Five: Reconciliation

"Cather, don't leave," he says quickly, jumping to his feet. He'd been lying on Reagan's bed, and even four feet into the room Cath can feel the tension in the air.

"Okay…" she says slowly, letting her backpack drop off her shoulder. She slings it onto her desk, mindful of the laptop inside. "What's going on?"

"I need to talk with you. About what happened. At my party," he adds unnecessarily, running a hand through his disheveled hair.

Cath sighs inwardly, shucking off her snow boots and cramming them under her desk.

"Let me explain."

She flicks her eyes at him – or, rather, at his chest, trying to appear unfazed and uninterested. "Go ahead then."

Levi blinks, his hands stilling at his sides. "You mean that? You're going to listen to me?"

She nods resignedly, slumping down on her bed. Better to get it over with. Otherwise Levi will just keep popping up unexpectedly, probably wearing down Cath's defenses over time.

Levi licks his lips. "I kissed that girl. You saw it, and I'm not denying it."

Cath chomps down on her lower lip and gazes at the far wall where her Simon and Baz posters are tacked.

"I don't know why I did it…no, wait, yes I do. I know why. It's just, Cather-" Levi pauses, and then all of sudden the words come pouring out. "I've been trying to get your attention for _weeks_, and you haven't even noticed. At every available opportunity I would swing by your room, ask you to come with me and Reagan to a party, tell you to eat lunch or dinner with us, or even study with us, and I would do everything in my power to make things easier for you. I listened to you read because I love the sound of your voice, and just being around you makes me feel…I can't even explain it. I kissed that girl because I thought I blew it with _our_ kiss. You were suddenly avoiding me and not returning my texts and I just assumed it was because I did something wrong, I rushed you when you weren't ready, and I felt so stupid and _so_ terrible, and then you didn't come to my party – when, really, that's the only reason I was even having it, to make sure you would come – and this girl was suddenly _right there_ and I kissed her because she wanted me to and because I couldn't think straight." Levi finally stops to take a deep breath, and Cath jumps in before he can continue.

"That's just _it_, Levi. You kissed that girl because she was there and I wasn't? Like it's that easy for you, to just go around kissing random girls and think nothing of it. You told me that it didn't matter, "_it was just a kiss_," right? So how do I know that you don't actually think the same thing about _our_ kiss?"

Levi looks so incredibly sad, Cath almost can't go on. But she's on a roll now, and she has to get this all out before it destroys her.

"And you were smiling, Levi, _smiling_ like it was the best moment of your life. Like you were enjoying her and the moment and just _everything_. It sure didn't seem like you gave a single shit about me then. I mean, Jesus, you had kissed me less than twenty-four hours ago!" Cath could feel herself getting upset, and with that usually came an ugly flood of tears.

"Cather, that's not what I was thinking, please believe me, I-"

"So all of that," Cath continues loudly, completely overriding Levi, "basically tells me that you don't really care what happened between us. That I was just one girl in a long line. And so that's why I don't want anything to do with you, Levi, if I'm going to be perfectly honest." The tears are finally here, and they're dripping off her face so quickly she can't wipe them away in time.

Levi slides off the bed and crouches down in front of her. "Cather, I kissed that girl because I wanted her to be you. I wanted _you_ to be leaning against me, _your_ arms wrapped around my neck, _your_ lips on mine, I wanted it _so badly_ that I kissed her and pretended she was you."

Cath hides her face in her hands.

"I felt guilty immediately after, and I kept checking my phone for a text from you, and I considered texting you first but I wasn't sure what to say…and, I just…" He swallows, briefly closing his eyes. "I really like you, Cather. I really, _really_ like you, and I'm so sorry."

The tears have thankfully stopped, but now she's shaking all over – probably from long-overdue shock. She's covering her eyes, not wanting to see him and kinda hoping he can't see her, though she knows that's completely childish.

"We're not even going out," she says shakily, "but, I don't know, it kinda felt like we were, because of what happened after reading _The Outsiders_, and so all along it's like you basically cheated on me, but not really because we're not actually in an exclusive relationship, you know?"

"I know," he says softly. "I'm so sorry, Cather. I'm such an idiot. Truly, I never meant to hurt you."

"I know you didn't," she whispers, pressing her fingers against her closed eyes. "But that doesn't erase the fact that you _did_."

"Please don't cry anymore."

Cath still can't look him in the eye. She hurts so much, all over. All this information is making her head ache. Levi had imagined that the blonde bimbo was actually _her_? It hadn't been though; the real Cath had been back in her room, writing fanfiction like always. He still kissed the girl. But he said he'd wanted it to be Cath _so badly_. And he likes her, really likes her. That counts, right?

Cath breathes in through her nose and wipes the remaining wetness off her cheeks. "I think I understand now."

"Can you forgive me?" Levi asks, and Cath swears it sounds a little like he's pleading. That sorta kinda makes her feel just a teensy bit better.

"I think so," she says, then flaps her hand at him as a small smile touches his lips. "But I need some time to think. To get past this." _To really forgive you_. "I didn't know you…felt this way."

"Oh, you have _no_ idea, Cather." He pulls himself up next to her on the bed, tracing his index finger up and down her arm. "I've barely managed to keep my hands off you."

She smoothes back her wild hair, fingers trembling. "I don't know why I've never noticed. I mean, I _did_ say that I wasn't any good at this girl-boy stuff."

"I'm pretty sure you missed some obvious signs, but the rest of it's on me. I acted really stupid."

Cath snorts, feeling weak. "You can say that again."

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Levi tilt his head down, and she can't help herself; she looks up at him, their eyes finally meeting for the first time in almost a month.

"Um, so, if you're up to it, why don't we hang out on Thursday? We can look around campus and just…hang out."

Cath nearly laughs; when Levi says "um" and can't find the words to describe what he's feeling or what he wants to do, that's when you know he's truly ashamed and unsettled.

"I think…I can do that."

Levi peeks up at her from under lowered lashes, squeezing her hand. "Really?"

She squeezes back. "Really."

* * *

**Aww, I just feel like this chapter is really heart-warming (the end of it anyway; the beginning part made me so mad at Levi because I feel like Cath should have kept him at a distance for longer than she did in the book). One more chapter left!**


	6. Chapter Six: An Apology(and A Sofa Fort)

**Here it is - the last chapter! Enjoy~~**

* * *

TWO DAYS LATER

"That's hideous, don't wear that." Reagan twirls a hair band around her wrist, then frowns. "Wait, why am I giving you fashion advice for a date you're going on with my best friend? This is totally bizarre. Not to mention uncomfortable."

"For you, maybe," Cath mutters, ignoring the butterflies banging around in her stomach. Black, slick-looking leggings, a loose white tee-shirt embroidered with tiny black roses, and dark green booties…. "Looks alright."

Reagan snorts. "You look better than I've ever seen you. Almost smoking hot, if I'm not mistaken."

"Almost?" Cath questions, raising an eyebrow. _What can possibly be missing_?

Her roommate bounces to her feet and strides over to their closet. "Your hair's down – for once – which is a good thing, so…here." She snatches a dark red beret that _might_ pass for a beanie if only it was a tiny bit bigger.

Cath runs the material through her fingers. "Who knew you had something like this in your closet?"

"First of all, it's _our_ closest. And second, I'm full of surprises. Aren't you used to my crazy unpredictability by now?"

"Not quite," Cath says with a small smile, tugging the beret over her head. She fussily smoothes down her dark brown hair (it's almost down to her boobs!) and breathes out nervously.

"I look decent?"

"Cath," Reagan huffs, turning her by the shoulders so that they're eye-to-eye. "You're perfectly fine, okay? Get over yourself," she adds as the door handle jiggles.

Cath's eyes immediately widen. _He's here_, she thinks frantically. _He's here already! But there's still…two minutes left until eight! He's early!_ Panicking, she whirls around, searching for her coat. She opens her mouth to call out to Reagan in distress, but then sees her dark blue coat hanging from Reagan's fingertips.

"Oh, thank goodness," she sighs, and her roommate shakes her head in disgust as she answers the door.

"For Christ's sake, Levi, you've got a _key_," Reagan growls. "_We can hear you_. Just come in next time. You aren't fooling anyone, being all impatient and such."

_Levi's impatient to see me_? Cath thinks hopefully, and then her mind blanks as Levi himself comes into view.

"Ready?" he asks with a quirky grin. His hair is in its usual tousled state, and he's dressed in dark jeans and a green-and-white checkered flannel shirt. Cath's heart skitters around in her chest.

"Um, yeah, I'm ready."

Slinging her arms through the sleeves of her coat, Cath sneaks a peek at Reagan as she pulls the door closed behind them.

_Good luck_, she mouths cheekily.

Cath bites her lip.

They're walking down the dorm's main stairwell when Cath glances down at her cell phone. She has a single text message:

_I doubt you'll be coming home tonight. Did you see the way he looked at you? Eyes bugging halfway out of his head. Disgusting!_

Cath makes a vow right then and there to keep her phone tucked away for the remainder of the night. At the bottom of the stairs she sticks the device into her back pocket. Levi holds the door open for her, and a burst of cold air slams into her. Sucking in a surprised breath, Cath casts her eyes around. Not a single person in sight. They start on a path that winds around the surrounding buildings, and Levi grasps her hand tightly in his.

"Didn't think it'd be this cold out tonight," he comments off-handedly.

"Neither did I," she replies, trying to breathe through her nose. Any air that comes into her mouth feels like little frozen needles jabbing into her tongue and teeth. Unpleasant, to say the least. "I hope what we're doing is inside…"

Levi glances over at her. "It is. Don't worry, Cather, I've got this handled," he adds, because apparently she seems worried.

"Can you give me a clue? About what we're doing?"

He pauses a moment, tilting his head back. "It's kind of a dinner-and-a-movie type thing."

She smiles. "That sounds nice. But what do you mean by _kind of_?"

"You'll see," he says with a mischievous grin, pulling her along behind him.

They all but race to the empty parking lot, jumping into the front seats of Levi's truck with frozen legs and stiff arms. Cath is shivering, and even when Levi turns the heat on full blast, she can still see her breath coming out in misty clouds. They're on the road for no more than ten minutes before Levi pulls over next to the curb.

"Here already?" Cath asks, glancing around. They've barely made it off campus.

He nods enthusiastically. "You betcha."

They exit the car, whereupon Levi immediately grasps her hand again. Cath eyes the house before them suspiciously. "Um, Levi?"

"Yes?" He springs gracefully up three porch steps, then grips the doorknob. The creaky wooden door opens easily.

"This isn't your house."

"Don't you think I _know_ that, Cather?" he asks with an offended scoff.

"Well, yeah, but…why are we walking around in here if it's not your house?"

"Because," Levi says, standing before an entryway that leads to a dark room. "I told you we were seeing dinner and a movie."

"Yes, but that has nothing–" Cath starts, but then Levi flicks on the lights and she's rendered momentarily speechless.

The room is surprisingly large, decorated with white walls and carpet. There are several sofas, and Cath can tell they're usually pushed up against the walls, but someone has shoved them all together in the center of the room, where a giant flat-screen TV sits on a low table filled with movies and DVDs. It looks like a couple of tent poles have been stuck between some of the sofa cushions; they stick straight up into the air, and a couple of mismatched blankets stretch over the top. Cath's eyes prick with tears.

A fort. Levi built a massive sofa fort.

Pulling Cath by the hand, Levi leads them through the room to the opening of the fort. "Dinner," he says grandly, gesturing to a food tray filled with gourmet pizza and (_no, it can't be_!) Blueberry Bliss protein bars. _At least_ three packs worth.

Cath laughs through her tears. _I'm crying_? she thinks, slightly bewildered. _When did _that_ happen?_

"And a movie," Levi declares, then adds, "Or, well, _movies_."

Lined up in front of the flat-screen television are the first five Simon Snow movies.

Cath's really crying now, and she's not altogether sure why. Maybe because Levi really knows her, and he figured that she would love this, which she absolutely, positively, one-hundred percent does. Maybe it's the expression on his face, the excitement for her intermingled with a slight nervousness, as if he's unsure whether she'll like what he's so carefully planned out.

"I can't believe this," she whispers, wiping away her tears. "You went to all this trouble…?"

"This? Oh, Cather, this is _nothing_ compared to what I've planned next."

"I love it," she says, gazing down at the food, then over to the movies – back and forth until Levi laughs and nods for her to sit down.

"I hoped you would," he says, hesitantly touching a finger to her cheek. She leans into him and breathes deeply, allowing herself only a moment before their dinner date resumes. Which it must, of course. After all, Simon and Baz are waiting for them!

They get comfy on a bed of fluffy blankets that must be two feet thick, piling pillows around them. Levi sets up the DVD player and clicks off the lights, plunging the room into complete darkness. That is, until he presses PLAY on the remote and Simon Snow's innocent face pops up on screen.

For the next three hours, they sit on their blanket throne, eating delicious pizza and protein bars, watching Simon and Baz meet for the first time.

At one point, Cath glances over at Levi to find that he's already staring at her. They're halfway through the second movie, and Cath _knows_ that her breath smells like pizza and artificial blueberry, and that she's the most comfortable she's been in a long while, and that she's so freakin' relieved that she and Levi can hang out again, and that she may not have fully forgiven Levi yet for his actions, and yet her heart pumps and her palms get sweaty and she isn't sure maintaining eye contact is the best course of action whenever Levi's around.

He searches her eyes for permission, and he must find it there because he's leaning forward just as on-screen Simon flings his wand in the air, and his lips touch hers and Cath isn't sure she's really breathing anymore, and if she is she doesn't want to be.

Kissing Levi, she finds out, is like that. He steals the breath from you, and you're not entirely convinced you want it back, as long as he's the one who took it away.

"I missed you, Cather," Levi whispers against her parted lips.

"I missed you too," she manages between bouts of heavy breathing.

"I really, really like you," he adds, pressing kisses to her neck.

"I…really, um, really like you too," Cath gasps.

And then, so softly he's nearly inaudible: "I think I'm…falling in love with you, Cather Avery."

She pulls back an inch or two, just enough so that she can look into his eyes. "You don't have to worry about that with me," she says, lowering her gaze to his mouth. "Unfortunately, I think I've already fallen."

"Thank god," he grins.

And then there's no more time for words.

* * *

**Ta-da! The end! I hope you've all enjoyed this little venture into Cath's and Levi's world, and I can't thank everyone enough for all the lovely comments and reviews :)**


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